Who is the Type 4?
So who is the Enneagram Type Four? First, you’re probably here because you either already know that you’re a Type 4, or you know a 4. But let’s start from the beginning, regardless.
Four’s are known as “The Individualist” because of the deep sense of being unique or different. They have a strong desire for being recognized and appreciated for who they are as an individual. They strive to be authentic to who they are, and long for you to acknowledge and even validate their authenticity and unique personna as a whole. They have no desire to be like everyone else. And here’s the root of it… they feel like they are misunderstood for being different, and struggle with feeling like they are flawed or lacking, which is why it’s so important for you to accept them just as they are, despite those flaws and differences.
Fours are also called “The Romantic”. They may romanticize their story, and their experiences, even their own suffering, or the longing for something that once was, or that they perceive as missing from their lives. They often have a strong sense of idealism, and envision an idealized version of themselves or their future, as well as idealized connections with others. Imagine a dramatic, romantic love-story movie. The more dramatic the better. That’s often what it’s like in the inner world of some Four’s. Inner world meaning their own psyche or mind. Not necessarily in reality.
Fours are very self-aware. Their emotional depth is sometimes, most of the time, more than other types even feel the need to experience. They are highly in tune with their emotions and feel them intensely. Some struggle with identifying AS those emotions, rather than just acknowledging them as a passing feeling. However, those deep and strong emotions are many times the source of creativity and insight. Fours are artists, writers, singers, musicians, creators, or even accountants with a flair for creativity and perhaps, drama.
Fours can be moody. They can be melancholy. But hey, so can everyone else. This is where Fours often get a bad “rap”. The truth is, Fours want to experience their emotions; to really feel them. They want to understand it, dissect it and figure out where it’s coming from and what it means. That alone is way more work than most other types care to worry about. (You would never catch a Type Seven dwelling in this for more than a minute!) So, if you realize a Four is hanging out in their “mood” or melancholy for a while, it’s not necessarily that they’re sad. They could just be using the opportunity as a chance for emotional growth and discovery. And even if they are sad, it’s what they need to be for a bit. It’s ok. They know how to live with it, around it, because of it, and despite it.
But guess what, Fours are the most empathetic people on the planet. They can sense your emotions better than you can if you’re not a Four. They are aware of your moods, your energy, and your attitude whether you are or not. You don’t have to say a word, they “feel” you. If you need to share with someone, find a Four. They will empathise (not sympathise) and be in the mud with you (nod to Simon Sinek). They don’t need to fix it for you. Your feelings will be validated.
Because of their desire for authenticity, Fours are drawn to experiences, people, and art that they perceive as genuine and sincere. They often seek out relationships and environments where they can be their true selves without fear of judgment.
They have a deep need for meaning and purpose in their lives. They may search for significance in their experiences and relationships, often striving to create a sense of meaning through their creative pursuits.
Type 4s may struggle with routine and structure, preferring to follow their own inner guidance rather than external rules or expectations. They may feel stifled by too much expectation and may resist efforts to impose structure on their lives. However, they can feel, or perhaps even give the impression that they are following all the rules. Unless they think those rules are stupid. In which case, there’s almost a blatant disregard for the rules, and a kind of tunnel vision as if those rules don’t even exist. After all, it would be stupid to do that!
Despite the Four’s focus on individuality, they also have a deep desire for connection and intimacy. I can’t stress this enough. They long for deep, meaningful relationships where they feel truly seen and understood. But did you catch that last part? …where they feel truly seen and understood.
Here are some of my favorite resources for learning more about the Enneagram Type Four and other types:
The Sacred Enneagram, Chris Huertz
The Journey Toward Wholeness, Suzanne Stabile
